welcome

soooo...i made this blog title a while ago. like, middle of high school (which was years ago in case you're wondering). and i never actually posted anything. I think it was supposed to be about how jaded I was back then or some shit. you're probably thinking, who the fuck is this dude and i'm actually thinking the same.

a little tryhard for high school, no? but i came back to blogger tonight itching to start one and i realized this title was actually kind of apropos for my life right now. i'm a senior in college at a prestigious university located near a major city but in the burbs. i'm a little too grown up for my own good and that gets me in to trouble. from the East Coast, went to boarding school in New England, and sometimes run in that annoying college crowd of kids with too much money (you know, the ones who book a flight to Hawaii last minute in February because they're having issues with the cold and homework. tear. give me a fucking break).

i know exactly what i want to do and where i'm going after this year, and it's a pretty glamorous destination. so why the angst? well, i'm gay and hate most of the guys here. and though i have a good amount of friends and have fun with them, i feel lonely a lot.

am i really jaded? a list of things i did today, in no particular order. you tell me

-ate a bagel

-took two exams

-got my hair cut

-slept four hours (coming down from a Vyvanse semi-all nighter)

-refreshed my fake email account 8 million times to see if that hot closeted guy i sort of hooked up with has replied. that shit got awkward and it's worthy of its own post so i'll leave it at that

-took some notes in bio class. insects, right on

-fell asleep on a bus

-fantasized about the really expensive watch i'm getting for my birthday which is soon

so yeah. maybe not jaded yet. actually sounds pretty normal college now that i wrote it out. but there's lots more to come including....get ready for it...hot closeted guys, my summer (sex)capades, a rave I went to a few weeks ago in LA, how fucked up (or amazing) my life is, etcetera. only problem is that I'M my only reader so for now it'll be a diary. maybe some people will find this funny, or relate, and if so, great.

for now enjoy the chop suey background and this archival HOT bruce weber abercrombie portrait. fuck gay porn, the late 90s b+w scene is where it's at. it's never too early to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS, it fucking feels like december outside.